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Now, don’t get me wrong, ain’t no “strategery” here—just pure, sloppy bliss. Ever hear ‘bout Cleopatra? Bitch had servants massage her with rose petals—talk ‘bout extra! Me, I’d settle for some lavender oil and a gal who don’t talk politics. “I’m not the only one suffering,” from “Ten”—damn right, we all need this! Stress melts like butter on a biscuit, but watch out—some parlors got shady vibes, sketchier’n a Baghdad briefing.

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I head out to the streets of Banqiao, and wow, it’s like the city’s alive. The hustle, the bustle, the smell of stinky tofu wafting through the air. I mean, who doesn’t love that? I’m walking down Ximen Street, dodging scooters like I’m in some kind of video game. Seriously, these riders are wild. One almost took me out! I’m like, “Dude, chill! I’m just trying to live my life here!”

Google opens key R&D center in New Taipei