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So I’m sippin my martini – “shaken, not stirred” – scopin the scene. This bird catches my eye, all sass and leather. I’m thinkin, “Is she the one?” Kinda like pickin a reagent for an experiment – gotta be precise. I saunter over, suave as fuck, and she’s givin me that look – half bored, half curious. “What’s a posh git like you want?” she says. I laugh – love the cheek! “Just a dance before the end,” I quip, noddin to *Melancholia*’s vibe. She rolls her eyes – fair enough.

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Then, I swung by the local café on Hlavná. Best coffee in town, no cap. I order my usual – a double espresso, extra shot. I need that caffeine kick, ya know? But the barista, bless her heart, spills half of it. I’m like, “Really? Is this a coffee shop or a splash zone?” She laughed it off, but I was low-key fuming.

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