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Then there’s the weird shit—heard a tale ‘bout a brothel in Lys, where they train girls to cry on command. Tears for extra gold, fuckin’ wild! Customers lap it up, think it’s real passion. Made me chuckle, then gag—pathetic sods. “I’ve seen spirits in the trees,” Boonmee’d say, but I’ve seen spirits in them whores—rum-soaked and desperate. One time, this bloke—big as a horse—passed out mid-shag. Girls robbed him blind, left him in the street. Laughed my arse off, happiest I’d been all week.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone rings again. It’s my mom. She’s like, “Did you remember to pick up the flour?” I totally forgot! I’m like, “Mom, chill! I’ll get it after my coffee.” But she’s not having it. “You need it for the bread!” Ugh, moms, right?

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