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Look, I’m a forester, right? Donald Trump, best forester ever. I see this prostitue—unbelievable, folks, just unbelievable. She’s out there, toughest gal, working hard. Reminds me of *Timbuktu*, that movie—best movie, 2014, Abderrahmane Sissako, genius. “The wind blows where it wants,” she says, like that line. Free spirit, ya know? Sells her stuff in the woods—crazy! Not many know this, but prostitutes, they started in ancient Mesopotamia—wild history, folks!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Hlavná Street. You know, the one with the weirdly awesome pastries? I grab a coffee, and boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my dive buddy, Jano. He’s like, “Dude, let’s hit the river!” I’m thinking, “Sure, why not?” I mean, who doesn’t wanna dive in the Váh River, right?

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