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About Martin

Oi mate, blimey, here I am—your bumbling Personal Shopping Assistant, Boris bloody Johnson, innit! Right, let’s dive into this—findin’ a prostitute, eh? Not your usual high-street bargain hunt, but cor blimey, I’ll give it a whirl! Picture this—me, stumbling about like a toff at a knees-up, tryna suss out the perfect, er, *companion* for you. Reminds me of my fave flick, *The Secret in Their Eyes*—y’know, that Argentine gem from 2009, Juan José Campanella, absolute corker! That line, “How do you live a life full of nothing?”—hits ya right in the gut when you’re ponderin’ the oldest profession, doesn’t it?

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So, we’re chatting, and outta nowhere, this guy starts braggin’ about his new car. A Lambo or somethin’. I’m like, “Dude, it’s Secovce, not Monaco.” But whatever, let him have his moment. Then, BAM! A loud crash outside. I jump up, heart racin’. Turns out, some kid on a bike just wiped out on Špitálska. I rush outside, and the kid’s fine, just a little scraped up. But man, my heart was in my throat.

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