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Here’s the kicker—fun fact: in Poland, where *Ida*’s from, prostitution’s legal but pimping ain’t. Wild, right? So I’m thinkin’, why’s this gal here, not there? ‘Cause America’s a damn magnet for dreamers—and crooks! I tell her, “You’re worth more than this!” She laughs—says, “Tell that to my landlord, commie!” Ha! Commie—me! I’m dyin’, folks, she’s a riot.

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Then, I bumped into my buddy, Jozef. He’s always got some wild stories. He told me about this time he tried to impress a girl at the Sabinov Castle. He ended up tripping over his own feet and face-planting in front of her. Classic Jozef! We laughed so hard, I almost cried. Like, dude, how do you even manage that?

Sabinov Roma were discriminated against, regional court rules