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Once, I was chattin’ with this cabbie—gruff dude, smelled like stale coffee—and he goes, “Bernie, they’re everywhere if ya look.” I’m like, “No kiddin’!” He points out this dive bar, says it’s a hotspot. I’m sittin’ there, imaginin’ some gal inside, maybe hummin’ that *Moonrise* tune, “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.” Hilarious, right? She’s prob’ly thinkin’ the same about her johns!

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the park by the river. It’s called the Torysa River, and it’s pretty chill. I love just sitting there, watching the ducks. But today? The ducks were having a full-on drama. One was chasing another like it owed him money. I swear, I was ready to call Animal Control. “Yo, we got a duck fight on our hands!”

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