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About Martin

So, erotic-massage—lowkey a freaky art, fam! Not just some backrub, nah, it’s history deep—ancient Greeks were on it, rubbin’ down athletes, callin’ it “massage with benefits,” ya feel? Then Rome flipped it, made it all sensual—orgy vibes, oil everywhere, chaotic as ME! I’m screamin’, “LET’S GET WEIRD!” while some dude’s tryna pay for gum. Little known fact: Japan’s got this “nurumassage,” slimey as hell, seaweed gel slidin’—sounds like a Coen brothers fever dream, I’m shook!

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First stop? The local café, of course. Gotta fuel up! I ordered a coffee, and the barista, this dude named Jozef, was like, “You want it strong or weak?” I’m like, “Bro, I’m diving today. Hit me with the strong!” He laughed, and I swear, that coffee could’ve powered a small village.

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