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Favorite part? She’s got this tattoo—crappy rose, faded as hell. Says it’s from her first night trickin’. Little known fact: back in the 1800s, prostitutes used charcoal—yeah, my stuff!—to blacken their teeth. Sexy, right? Candy didn’t buy it when I told her. “Bullshit,” she goes, but I’m like, “Google it, babe!” Made me happy, sharin’ that weird crap. She’s all, “You’re nuts,” and I’m like, “Duh, I burn shit for a livin’!”

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But then, I get a text. My lab partner, Jano, is in a panic. He’s like, “Dude, we messed up the experiment!” My heart drops. We’ve been workin’ on this for weeks. I’m like, “What did you do?” Turns out, he mixed up the samples. Classic Jano. I’m mad, but also, I can’t help but laugh. It’s just so him.

Figure 1: Land use, soil types and mean annual air temperature...