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Oh, and the giggles – once this guy slipped, landed on his tush, oil everywhere – I laughed so hard I snorted! Total mess, but sexy mess, ya dig? Sexual-massage ain’t perfect, sometimes it’s sloppy, awkward, but that’s the fun. “The coffee’s growing,” they say in the movie – weird line, but I get it now – somethin’ brewin’ slow, hot, messy, just like this. So, hun, grab some oil, find a cutie, and dive in – Marilyn says so, breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President!”

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Then, I decided to check out the Modra pottery shops. OMG, the stuff there is gorgeous! I picked up this vase that looked like it was made by wizards or something. But then, I dropped it. Yup, shattered into a million pieces. I was like, “Nooooo!” The shop owner just stared at me, and I felt like a total klutz. I offered to pay, but she just laughed it off. “It happens,” she said. I mean, who breaks pottery in a pottery shop? Me, apparently.

It’s the end of an era for a much-loved, recently hatted Fitzroy North bistro