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I’m extra, I know, picturin this like a movie scene. Me struttin, heels clackin, “It’s bad bitch o’clock!” Found a site, reviews n all—pro tip, check them ratings, fam! One story said this dude got robbed mid-hookup—hilarious but fucked up! I’m like, “Not me, I’m too smart!” Still, heart’s racin, thinkin bout the thrill. Ain’t just sex, it’s the chase, ya feel? “The cipher’s still unsolved,” like Fincher’s puzzles, but I’m crackin this code tonight! Watch me shine, boo!

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I mean, I get it. But hiking? Nah, I’ll stick to my couch, thanks. Anyway, we ended up grabbing a quick bite at a little joint on Špitálska. The food was decent, but the service? Ugh. The waiter was slower than a snail on a lazy day. I was ready to throw my hands up and yell, “C’mon, man! I’m starving here!”

Man mauled to death by bear as he picked mushrooms in Slovakia