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About Banska Bystrica

So, listen up, you twat! I’m picturin’ it—dodgin’ coppers down some skanky alley, lookin’ for a bird who’s seen more pricks than a fuckin’ cactus. “What’s your name?”—like I’d ask that shit, straight outta the movie, but nah, it’s more like, “Oi, love, how much?” Makes me wanna puke, but also—fuckin’ hell—kinda thrilling, yeah? Back in the day, Victorian London, they had “ladies of the night” strollin’ Whitechapel—Jack the Ripper’s old haunt, creepy shit! Bet they didn’t expect some sweaty chef like me judgin’ em now, eh?

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Finally, I wrap up. I’m covered in dust, but I don’t care. I head over to the festival, and it’s lit! Food stalls everywhere, music blasting. I grab a langoš, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m dancing like nobody’s watching, even though they totally are.

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