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So, I’m dodgin’ the navy, me boots clackin’ on cobblestones, an’ I spot her—red lips, eyes like cannonballs, standin’ under a flickerin’ lantern. “What we need’s an impulse!” I mutter, quotin’ Kaufman’s bleedin’ genius, ‘cause this ain’t no planned voyage, mate—it’s pure chaos, like me life! I swagger over, tippin’ me hat, an’ she’s all, “Wot’s yer coin, pirate?” Coin? Ha! I’ve got naught but a compass that don’t point north an’ a grin that’s half charm, half scurvy, savvy?

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First off, I hit the streets of Cierny-Balog, right? I’m cruising down Hlavná ulica, coffee in hand, feeling like a boss. But then, bam! I spill half my coffee on my shirt. Great start, right? I’m like, “Awesome, just what I needed.”

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