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Lemme tell ya, it’s not just rubbin’ backs. It’s old as dirt—ancient Greeks were into it! They’d oil up, get all slippery, call it therapy. Freaky, right? Made me happy knowin’ humans been weird forever. But then—ugh—some creeps ruin it! Dudes thinkin’ it’s a green light for sleaze. Pisses me off! It’s s’posed to be chill, not gross.

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Then, things get wild. A storm rolls in outta nowhere. I’m talkin’ dark clouds, wind, the whole shebang. I’m yellin’ at people to get outta the water. “Yo! Get out! Now!” But some dude thinks he’s a hero, tryin’ to save his inflatable unicorn. I’m like, “Bro, it’s a unicorn! Let it go!” But he’s not listenin’. Finally, I have to jump in and drag him out. He’s soaked, and I’m like, “You’re lucky I’m a lifeguard, or I’d let you float away!”

Filip Mesar returns to Rangers