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Sometimes tho, it’s too much – all that touchin’, you’re thinkin’, “What am I doin’ here?” like Carol ponderin’ her life. Gets me antsy, but then – woosh – relaxation hits, and I’m floatin’ like a jellyfish. Pro tip, mate: don’t go cheap, or you’ll get some dodgy geezer with cold hands and no clue – had that once, nearly punched him, swear down.

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this group of teenagers on the other side of the beach. They’re blasting music from a speaker, and it’s some weird mix of pop and techno. I’m tryin’ to focus on my lifeguard duties, but all I can hear is “BEEP BEEP BOOP” and I’m like, “What even is this?” I swear, if I hear that song one more time, I might just dive in and never come back up.

Canadiens’ Slafkovsky helped Mesar discover Montreal food scene