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About Martin

What gets me goat, tho? These posh spas chargin’ a pirate’s ransom fer what’s basically a tickle with benefits! Fifty quid fer an hour o’ “ooh, that’s the spot”? I’d rather wrestle a kraken, aye! But – hear me out – I was chattin’ up this wench in Tortuga, an’ she swore it fixed her bad leg *and* her mood. Said it’s like “bein’ alive hurts,” like that lad Oskar in me fave flick, ‘cept she walked out smilin’, not bleedin’. Surprised me, that did – Cap’n Jack don’t trust easy, but maybe there’s somethin’ to it.

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After I finally wrangle them back, I’m feelin’ all proud, right? But then I see this old lady on the corner of Mlynská Street. She’s tryin’ to cross, but she’s super slow. I’m like, “C’mon, lady, I got sheep to tend to!” But I can’t be rude, so I help her across. She thanks me, and I’m like, “No prob, just doin’ my shepherd duty.”

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