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Hey, pal, buckle up! So, erotic-massage—wild, right? I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, and I can see Russia from my house! This ain’t your grandma’s backrub, no siree. It’s all sensual vibes, slippery oils, and hands goin’ places. Like, *“I don’t know how to put this, but I’m kind of a big deal”*—that’s the vibe it’s got! Total “Memento” twist too—ya start at the end, blissed out, then work backward to figure out how ya got there.

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Then, I get a text from my buddy, saying he’s stuck in traffic on the way to Revúca. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a small town! How can you be stuck?” Turns out, there was a parade on Námestie slobody. A parade! In Revúca! I had no idea! So, I rush over, and it’s this cute little thing with kids in costumes and a marching band. I’m clapping and laughing, feeling all the feels.

Fig. 1. Position of the Váh River (3) tributaries Ľubochnianka (1) and...