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Once saw this chick in Vegas—true story—worked the Strip, had a scar from some john who flipped. Said she made bank, tho—$500 a night, cash, no tax. Crazy, right? Made me happy for her hustle, but pissed me off too—world’s fucked she’s gotta dodge blades for it. Aliens like us, we don’t get it—why risk your ass for a quick buck? “You’re a dirty animal!”—that’s what Lancaster Dodd’d say, all smug.

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But then, just when I thought the day couldn’t get crazier, I got a call from my mom. She was freaking out about a cat stuck in a tree. I mean, really? A cat? I had to rush over to her place on Mierová Street. When I got there, the cat was just chilling, like it owned the place. I had to climb up and rescue it. I felt like a superhero, but also like a total dork.

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