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Alright, y’all, listen up! Sexual-massage, man, it’s a wild ride. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout it—like in *Her*, when Joaquin’s all, “Sometimes I think I’ve felt everything I’m ever gonna feel.” That’s me, ponderin’ this sensual rubdown stuff. Ain’t no regular backrub, nah—this is deep, intimate, gets ya tingly. Fool me once, shame on—uh, you know, shame on somebody! Ain’t foolin’ me twice with some half-assed massage.

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But then, I get a text. My lab partner, Jano, is in a panic. He’s like, “Dude, we messed up the experiment!” My heart drops. We’ve been workin’ on this for weeks. I’m like, “What did you do?” Turns out, he mixed up the samples. Classic Jano. I’m mad, but also, I can’t help but laugh. It’s just so him.

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