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So, erotic-massage—where’s it at? It’s ancient, baby! Egyptians did it, hieroglyphs showin’ slick hands on pharaohs—wild, right? Gets the blood pumpin’, muscles loose, real hippy-dippy relief. I’m all about that sensual buzz, keeps ya swingin’! Last time I got one, chick’s hands were magic—felt like “the earth moves” from the flick. Almost cried, man, so good it hurt! But once—ugh—bloke used too much oil, slipped off the table, landed on me arse—total buzzkill, made me wanna shout, “Get out, get out!”

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After that, I decided to grab some lunch. I hit up this little joint on Špitálska Street. Best halušky in town, no joke. I order a plate, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, man! I’m just trying to enjoy my food, and they’re throwing around words like “divorce” and “custody.” Yikes! I mean, can’t you take that drama somewhere else?

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