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Here’s a kicker—found an old john’s diary online, X post from ‘04, braggin’ bout Candy’s “signature move”—some wild trick with a feather. Laughed my ass off—prolly fake, but damn, that’s character! She’s a legend in her own messed-up way. Still, I’m pissed—insurance ain’t for scams, it’s for real folks. Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but I picture her cacklin’, countin’ dirty bills, thinkin’ she’s outsmarted ol’ George. Nope! “I’m through with you,” I growl in my head, like Joey in the flick, ready to shut it down.

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Then, I meet this girl. Her name’s Jana, and she’s super cool. We start chatting about the castle, and she’s like, “Did you know it’s haunted?” I’m like, “Great, just what I need—ghosts judging my life choices.” We laugh, and I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside.

Almost 800 long-eared owls overwintered in Slovakia