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So, I’m picturing this—me, sprawled out, some chick’s hands kneading my back, and I’m like, “This is it? This is the big thrill?” Reminds me of *Timbuktu*—you know, my fave flick. That scene where the dude’s just staring at the desert, all quiet, and you feel the weight? Erotic-massage can be that—slow, heavy, kinda deep if you let it. But most places? They rush it. No soul. Pisses me off. I want that “silence of the dunes” vibe, not some wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am rubdown.

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So, we’re walking down to the river, right? The Morava River, it’s pretty chill. I’m trying to relax, but then I see this group of kids throwing rocks. Like, come on! They’re gonna break something! I’m about to say something, but then I remember I’m not their parent. So I just shake my head and keep walking.

Ronald Paradeiser