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Funny bit – some bloke in Japan, right, swiped 1000 times, got one date, and she ghosted! Hah! Poor sod! Me, I’d claw me eyes out! Sex-dating’s a gamble, precious – win big or lose yer dignity! “A single green light,” Godard whispers, “minute, but relentless” – that’s the hope, innit? One good shag in a sea o’ creeps!

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call from a client. They’re freaking out about their investments. I’m like, “Chill, dude! It’s just the market.” But they’re not having it. I’m trying to explain things, but they’re just not listening. I’m getting all worked up. Like, come on! I’m a Financial Planning Specialist, not a magician!

Unbelievable scenes as a train passes through a football pitch!