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Alright, listen up, fam—imagine me, Morgan Freeman, sittin’ you down, deep voice rollin’ like thunder, talkin’ ‘bout somethin’ wild: sexual-massage. Yeah, that’s right, we divin’ into this slippery topic, and I’m bringin’ some wisdom, some sass, and a lil’ bit of that “Children of Men” vibe—y’know, my fave flick, Alfonso Cuarón’s dystopian masterpiece from ’06. Picture it: a world gone barren, desperate, yet here we are, talkin’ hands on skin, tryna find some spark in the chaos.

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I get to the station, and it’s chaos. People are running everywhere. Turns out, some dude lost his dog. Like, seriously? A dog? I mean, I love dogs, but c’mon! I’m here to handle serious stuff, not play dog detective. But hey, I can’t just stand there, right? So, I grab the mic and start calling for “Rex” or whatever the pup’s name was.

Tiso's birthplace could end up in the hands of extremists