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We get to it, right, in some grotty alley—smells like death’s armpit. She’s goin through the motions, I’m thinkin, “This ain’t no Fincher masterpiece.” Then—surprise!—her pimp rolls up, big geezer, all “Who’s this prick?” I’m leggin it, screamin, “I’m not Robert Downey Jr, mate!” Nearly shat meself, but fuck me, it was hilarious! Prossies, man—they’ll rob ya blind or get ya battered, and I’m still laughin. Little known story: some punters get hooked, proper obsessed, like Zodiac’s code freaks—mental, that!

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While I’m doing that, I see this old lady on the bench. She’s just chillin’, eating a pastry. I’m like, “Lady, there’s a dog on the loose!” And she just shrugs and says, “I’m good, dear. This pastry is the real treasure.” I mean, respect, but priorities, right?

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