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Here’s the kicker—some spots, they use hot stones. HOT STONES, bro! Puttin’ lava rocks on your spine—sickos. Supposed to “align your chi” or whatever. I’m like, “Bruh, my chi’s already aligned with Netflix.” But it works! You’re melty after. Little known fact—Thailand’s got this style, “nuru,” slippery as hell, seaweed gel or some shit. Slidin’ like you’re on a waterslide. Wildest part? They train for YEARS. Respect.

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But then, the mood shifts. This guy at the end of the bar, let’s call him “Mr. Grumpy,” starts yelling about the prices. “Why’s a beer so expensive?” he shouts. I’m like, “Dude, it’s Bratislava-Vajnory, not a village in the middle of nowhere!” But he’s not having it. I can feel my blood boiling. I mean, c’mon, it’s not like I set the prices!

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