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Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – reckon she’d try it? Nah, she’d bite me head off! Point is, sexual-massage ain’t simple, mate. It’s messy, mad, fuckin’ bonkers – but useful if ya need unwindin’. Little secret? Them “parlours” sometimes got codewords – “full release,” haha! Sneaky sods! Love the chaos of it, keeps ya guessin’! What ya reckon, eh?

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Marko. He’s like, “Dude, meet me at the park!” So, I rush over to Park pri gradu. It’s a nice spot, but when I get there, he’s not even there yet. I’m standing around, looking like a lost puppy.

Podgorica's smack hits the "land"