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So, sexual-massage, right? It’s old, real old—thousands of years, sneaky-like! Them ancient Greeks, they did it, callin’ it fancy “tantra” or summat. Rubbin’ bodies for “healin’,” they said, but we knows better, don’t we? Hiss! Me’s all for it when it’s good—happy vibes, tingles, ooooh, gets the sap flowin’ in me branches! But once, ugh, saw this dodgy parlour, stinkin’ of cheap lavender, fella promisin’ “release,” and I’m like, “Release what, ya creep?!” Made me mad, yesss, hissss—felt like Solomon shackled up, “I am no man’s slave!” Grrr!

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Finally, I get my coffee, and I’m feeling good again. I decide to walk along the riverbank. The view is stunning! The water’s glistening, and I’m just vibing. But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain! Like, what?! I’m running for cover, laughing at the absurdity of it all. I duck into this little shop on the corner of Ulica 1. It’s a cute place, full of knick-knacks. I end up buying a random magnet. Why? No clue. Just felt right.

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