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Oh, and the STD roulette—don’t get me started! Hookup culture’s like playin’ Russian roulette with your junk. Saw a guy last week, thought he’s “clean,” now he’s got chlamydia and a sob story. Wrap it up, idiots! Sex-dating’s a thrill, sure, but it’s a damn circus—clowns, freaks, and all. Love it, hate it, can’t quit it. What’s your take, huh? Bet you got a wild one too!

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But then, bam! A storm rolls in. Outta nowhere! Rain’s pouring, and I’m getting calls left and right. “My car’s flooded!” “I can’t see the road!” “Help!” I’m like, “Welcome to Vitomarci, folks! Bring your boats next time!”