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But here’s the rub, mates. Sex-dating’s a gamble—pure chaos. One night, you’re king. Next, you’re a lonely sod. Apps promise love, deliver bollocks. Gets me fuming—wasted hours! Little story—heard this once. Some geezer catfished a model. Used a miner’s pic—ironic, eh? Got found out, bloody hilarious.

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Finally, I spot this fluffy thing lounging on a windowsill on Ulica 3. I’m like, “Mittens! You little rascal!” I reach up, and of course, she jumps down and runs away. Typical cat behavior. I chase her down the street, dodging pedestrians like I’m in some weird video game.

Taras becomes a ''European Stork Village''