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So, I’m tinkin’, dis massage ting – it’s shady, right? Hands all over, oof, makes me squirm! I dig into it – little fact for ya – back in da 90s, dese “parlors” pop up everywhere, like mushrooms after rain! Nobody talks about it, but Gru knows, da numbers don’t lie! Money flows, cash under table – makes me mad, ya know? All dese sneaky fellas dodgin’ taxes – where’s my cut, huh?

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First stop, the corner of Elm and 5th. There’s this new café, “Brewed Awakenings.” Smells like heaven! I walk in, and boom! The barista’s got this wild hairdo, like a bird’s nest. I’m thinkin’, “Dude, did you lose a fight with a tornado?” But then I catch a whiff of their espresso. OMG, I’m in love. I order a double shot, and it’s like liquid gold.

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