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About Maribor

I hate the apps—Bumble, Hinge, whatever. Dudes flexin’ gym pics, chicks with filters. Like, what’s real anymore? Saw this stat once—70% of matches ghost. Hilarious, right? You’re chattin’, thinkin’ “she’s into me,” then poof—gone. “The earth is my mother,” Malick’s film says. These apps? They’re a swamp. Stinky, shallow, full of catfish. Met a guy once—swore he banged 50 gals off OkCupid. Bragged like it’s a medal. I’m like, “Cool, I split logs faster.”

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First stop, the corner of Elm and 5th. There’s this new café, “Brewed Awakenings.” Smells like heaven! I walk in, and boom! The barista’s got this wild hairdo, like a bird’s nest. I’m thinkin’, “Dude, did you lose a fight with a tornado?” But then I catch a whiff of their espresso. OMG, I’m in love. I order a double shot, and it’s like liquid gold.

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