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But then—ugh—there’s the dodgy side. Blokes gettin’ scammed, payin’ upfront, and poof, she’s gone like smoke. Pisses me off somethin’ fierce—YOU SHALL NOT PASS, ya thievin’ sods! Happened to a mate once, poor sod. He was all “Gandalf, she looked like Galadriel!”—yeah, mate, Galadriel with a fake wig and a burner phone. Still, can’t help but smirk—dumbass deserved it for not checkin’ reviews.

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Then, we head to the old church, Župnijska cerkev sv. Marije. It’s stunning, right? But guess what? It’s closed for renovations. I’m like, “Seriously? This is the highlight!” I’m tryin’ to keep the mood up, so I start tellin’ ghost stories. My tourists are eatin’ it up, but I’m just tryin’ to distract from the fact that we can’t go inside.

Fig.5: Scanning electron micrographs of the villi epithelium from...