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Great Scott! Once, I’m chattin’ this chick up, thinkin’ she’s just flirty. Nope! She’s quotin’ prices! “Everything’s so strange,” I blurt, straight outta the film. Laughed my ass off – she thought I was nuts. Pro tip: cash only, they don’t trust cards, and don’t be a dumbass hagglin’. They’re pros, not flea market vendors.

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I step outside, and the rain’s stopped. I’m strutting down the street in my new hat, feeling like a rockstar. People are staring, and I’m just like, “Yeah, I know I look good!”

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