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Now, The Royal Tenenbaums vibes? Totally. Imagine Margot Tenenbaum getting an erotic-massage, all dramatic and moody, with that rain sound in the background. “I think we’re just gonna have to be secretly in love with each other,” she’d say, but it’s the masseuse saying it! I’m dying here. Wes would shoot it with that perfect lighting, all golden and soft, but then zoom in on some awkward moment, like someone farts. Classic.

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As the day goes on, I’m feeling all sorts of emotions. Happy, annoyed, surprised. It’s like a rollercoaster. I decide to chill by the Soča River. The view is stunning. I sit there, just soaking it all in. Then, I see a couple taking selfies. They’re all lovey-dovey, and I’m like, “Ugh, get a room!” But then, I can’t help but smile. Love is in the air, I guess.

Brigadier General David Humar