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“Tonight’s the night,” I mutter, thinkin bout Spielberg’s lil robot kid wantin love. Sexual-massage ain’t love, tho – it’s a transaction, a game. Like Gigolo Joe again, “I am programmed to please.” That’s the masseuse, bro – pros at playin ya like a fiddle. Ever tried it? Me neither, but I’d bet it’s a trip. Prolly exaggerate in my head – “Oh Dexter, you’re a god!” Nah, more like, “Pay up, weirdo.”

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But then, one of the kids, let’s call him Max, decides to touch everything. I’m like, “Dude, don’t touch that!” But he’s already got his hands on some ancient rock. I’m panicking, thinking we’re gonna get kicked out. But the guide just laughs. “Kids will be kids,” he says. I’m like, “Yeah, but I’m the one who’ll get fired!”

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