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Anyways, I’d be all nervous, heart poundin – “This is my op, Marge!” – quotin that movie cos it’s my fave, duh. I’d prolly spot some gal in fishnets, smokin a cig, and I’d be like, “Hmm… is that her? Or just Lisa playin dress-up again?” Ha! Imagine me yellin, “Get outta there, ya little tramp!” – oops, too loud, Marge, too loud! I’d get so mad tho, thinkin bout how these gals deserve better – ugh, makes my blue hair frizz up!

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Then I decide to hit up the Ormož Castle. It’s this stunning place, perched on a hill. I’m climbing up, and I’m huffing and puffing like I just ran a marathon. Seriously, who knew a castle could be so high? But the view? OMG, it’s worth it. You can see the whole town, the vineyards, the Drava River. It’s like a postcard, but real life.

Top 5: the best Slovenian sparkling wines, with which we will toast the new year