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Alright, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, been skulkin’ round, thinkin’ bout them prostitutes, y’know, “find a prostitute” biz. We hates it! Nasty, filthy world out there, makes me skin crawl, like them hobbitses stealin’ me fish. Watched *A.I. Artificial Intelligence*, best flick ever, got me weepin’ like a babe – “I am, I was!” – that lil’ robot kid, David, searchin’ for love in a cold, rotten place. Reminds me of them girls on the street, y’see? Lost, lookin’ for somethin’ they ain’t never gonna find.

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First off, I hit up the local bakery on Trg svobode. You know, the one with the best pastries? I’m talking about those buttery croissants that make you feel like you’re in Paris or something. I grab one, and boom! It’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m happy, right? But then, I spill coffee all over my shirt. Classic me. I’m standing there, looking like a hot mess, and the baker just laughs. Thanks, dude. Real supportive.

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