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I got this one time, right, some tiny joint in Vegas—neon buzzin, shady vibes. Chick’s hands were like pythons, brother, kneadin me like I’m preppin for WrestleMania. Little known fact? Old-school geishas in Japan, they’d sneak this sensual rubdown shit into tea ceremonies—covert as hell! Made me happy, man, feelin like a champ, but pissed me off too—why ain’t this everywhere, huh? World’s too uptight, brother!

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While I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just sipping my hot chocolate, trying not to laugh. I mean, who fights in a café? Get a room, people! But then, they start talking about Mozirje’s parks, and I’m like, “Wait, what?” Turns out, they’re arguing about which park is better—Mozirski Gaj or the one by the river. I’m thinking, “Why not both?”

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