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Yo, wassup, fam! Me, Master of the Forest, Eric Andre style, comin’ at ya with some wild shit bout escorts, ya feel? Like, escort, man, it’s this crazy world—dudes payin’ for company, right? Not judgin’, just sayin’—it’s a hustle! Watched *The Secret in Their Eyes*—you know, my fave, Juan José Campanella’s joint from ’09—and it’s got me thinkin’. That flick’s all about secrets, hidden vibes, and messed-up love, so escort shit fits right in, chaotic absurdity on blast!

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All the escorts listed on www.facebook.com charge for their time and companionship only, anything else that may occur is a matter of coincidence and choice between consenting adults.

Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon level! I dash for cover under a stall. I’m soaked, and my hair looks like a wet mop. I can’t stop laughing at myself. “What a day!” I shout to no one in particular.

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