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What gets me happy? The thrill, mang. That rush when she’s real, hot, and DTF. Say hello to my little friend—he’s ready! But the fakes? The liars? Makes me wanna scream, “You can’t handle me!” Sex-dating’s a gamble—sometimes you’re Daniel Plainview, strikin’ rich; sometimes you’re just a schmuck with blue balls. Love it, hate it, can’t quit it. Whatchu think, amigo? You in the game?

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Then, I decide to take a walk by the river. The Kolpa River, man, it’s beautiful. I sit on a bench, just chilling. I see this old couple feeding ducks. They’re so cute! Makes me think about love and stuff. But then, a duck gets too close, and the lady freaks out. She’s screaming, “Get away!” I’m dying laughing.

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