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Oh, and get this—some old Venetian hooker, 1600s, played lute between gigs! Lute! Ain’t that a riot? Proves they got layers, not just street shadows. Makes ya think, don’t it? Anyway, mate, that’s me spiel—messy, loud, and all over. R2-D2, where are you? I’m losin’ it here!

French colonial rule

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First off, I hit the streets. You know, the usual—Cesta 1. maja, where all the action is. I’m strolling, vibing, when BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, really? Thanks, nature. I’m already late for my first meeting.

Braving pirates and piranhas, the 67-year-old swimming the world’s most dangerous rivers