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Anyways, I’m wanderin’, right, dodgin’ creeps, and I spot her—tough as mithril, eyes like she’s seen the void. “The horse plods on,” like in the flick, y’know? She’s got that same stubborn spark. I’m all, “Oi, love, you good?” She laughs—proper cackle—says, “Gandalf, mate, I’ve outlived worse wizards.” Surprised me, that! Cheeky sod. Made me grin, tho—rare as a sober hobbit.

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Then, I had a client at the salon on Ulica 2. She was late. Of course. I was pacing like a caged lion. I mean, I had a whole plan! Hair, makeup, the works! Finally, she shows up, and her hair was a mess. Like, girl, what happened? Did you wrestle a raccoon? I had to work my magic, and let me tell you, I nailed it! She looked like a goddess. I was feeling myself too, like, “Yasss, I’m the hair whisperer!”

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