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Still, some folks swear by it, say it’s “liberatin’,” like Kate Hudson spinnin’ in that film, all golden and glowy. Me? Surprised me arse off first time I read it’s a legit job – trainin’ and all! Thought it was just pervs in basements, ha! Gets me thinkin’ – maybe it’s not all bad? Nah, still weird, slimy, we hates it! Hands off me treasures, ta very much!

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After that, I head back to my workshop. I’m pumped to work on this new violin. It’s gonna be a masterpiece, I swear! But then, I realize I’m out of varnish. Ugh! So, I dash over to the local shop on Cesta 1. The guy there, let’s call him “Varnish Vlad,” is always a character. He’s got this wild hair and a laugh that could wake the dead. I ask for varnish, and he starts telling me about his “secret recipe.” Like, dude, I just need some varnish, not a cooking lesson!

One of WWI's bloodiest frontlines