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Now, here’s the tea: she takes him ‘round back, and I’m like, “Oh, Lawd, he’s done!” Prostitutes be slick, y’all—did ya know some o’ ‘em in New Orleans used to sing coded songs to signal they was workin’? True story! Joe don’t know that, he’s too busy pantin’. Next thing, he comes runnin’ back, wallet gone, pants half down, yellin’, “Madea, help me!” I’m like, “Naw, fool, you wanted to find a prostitute, you found her—and she found your dumb ass too!” Halleluyer! I’m dyin’ laughin’, but also hot as a skillet—why these men so stupid?

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I head to the archives, which is this old building on Ulica 1. Maja. It’s got that musty smell, you know? Like history just slapped you in the face. I’m digging through some old documents, and I find this crazy letter from the 1800s. It’s all about some local scandal. I’m talking juicy stuff! I’m laughing out loud, and my coworker, Jure, gives me the side-eye. Like, dude, it’s history! Get with it!

Brennan Dragomer lifts Notre Dame football over Pasadena in opener