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I remember this one time, yeah? In Vegas, lookin’ for a bit of company after a mission. Found this bird—called herself Candy. Swear she was straight outta *Shame*. “You’re not my brother,” she says, laughin’, quotin’ the movie like she knew it. Had me in stitches! Turned out, she’d been in the game years, knew every trick. Told me ‘bout “girlfriend experiences”—where they act all lovey-dovey, not just a quick shag. Cost a fortune, mind. Surprised me, that did—thought it was all cold transactions.

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So, I’m fuming now. I chase the bird down the street, yelling, “Give it back, you feathered thief!” People are staring, and I’m like, “Yeah, I’m that person.” But the bird just flies off, and I’m left with nothing but a sad napkin. Ugh.

Classic Film Review: Roger Corman’s WWII “on a budget” — “The Secret Invasion” (1964)