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Did ya know, back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Fancy that—sounds like a crap poetry book! Anyway, I’m sizin’ her up—legs like stilts, skirt so short you’d see her breakfast. “How much?” I ask, playin’ it cool. She smirks, “More than you’ve got, baldy!” Oi, cheeky cow! Made me angry that—wanted to shout, “I’m Ricky bloody Gervais, ya muppet!” But nah, kept it chill, laughin’ instead.

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So, I’m fuming. I mean, come on! I had my setlist ready, and now it’s just… poof! Gone. I decide to take a walk to cool off. I stroll down the beautiful paths by the Dobrna River. It’s so peaceful there, you know? The sound of the water, the trees swaying. I’m trying to find my zen, but my mind’s racing.

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