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Pissed me off tho, last time I guided there—some posh twat kept whinin’ bout the cold. Mate, it’s Brothel, not ya mum’s sofa! *cosmic wisdom*—Entropy don’t care ‘bout ya feelings, ya git. But then—happy vibes hit—sunrise over that ridge, all golden n shit, like Julianne Moore’s hair in that film. “It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” I mutter, quotin’ her, feelin’ all poetic n crap.

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Maja’s hair turns out fab, by the way. She’s all smiles, and I’m feeling like a rockstar. But then, she drops the bomb. “I’m moving to Ljubljana next week.” WHAT?! I’m like, “Girl, you can’t leave me!” But she’s gotta go. Life, right?