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But then, plot twist – she’s chargin’ double! I’m like, “Oi, that’s not in the KPI!” – fumin’ again, but also happy cos she’s got sass, and I rate that. Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but I felt like Lil’ Zé facin’ off Knockout Ned – “Who’s the king now?!” – except I’m skint and she’s got me wallet by the balls, haha! Little quirk of mine, I s’pose, lovin’ the chaos of it all.

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Fast forward to the afternoon. I’m in the garden, digging up weeds. So boring! I’m sweating like a pig, and my mom’s just chatting away about her roses. I’m like, “Mom, can we speed this up? There’s a festival waiting!” But she’s in her own world, talking about how the roses need more sun. I’m like, “Yeah, mom, but I need more fun!”

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