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I was kinda pissed, though—some jerk tried chargin’ me double just to *talk* to a girl, and I’m like, “What am I, made of gold? Back off, creep!” Felt like screamin’, “The intel was bad!”—another “Zero” line, heh! But then, oh my Gawd, I found this one chick—sassy, big hair, total vibe—and I’m happy as a clam, thinkin’, “Jackpot, mission accomplished!” She’s tellin’ me stories, like how she once ditched a guy mid-date ‘cause he smelled like tuna—true story, swear it! I’m dyin’ laughin’, nasal snort and all, “Hahaha, what a schmuck!”

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First off, I hit the streets of Benedikt. You ever been down Trg svobode? It’s like the heart of the city. So many people, so much noise. I’m just tryna grab a coffee at that little café on the corner. You know the one? The one with the weird pastries? Yeah, that one. I order my usual, and the barista—let’s call her “Miss Grumpy”—gives me this look like I just asked for a unicorn frappuccino. Chill, lady! It’s just coffee!

Benedikt NOETZLI Obituary (2023) - Havelock North , Hawke's Bay - Hawke's Bay Today